"I'm in awe of all you do!"
"Wow! I don't know how you do it all. You're awesome!"
"Wow! I don't know how you do it all. You're awesome!"
People say things like this to me all the time. Because I work, homeschool and am a single mom of special needs kids, people are impressed.
Now, I'm not saying I don't enjoy the boost of confidence from compliments. I do. Feel free to keep them coming.;-) But I also want you to know I'm not a Supermom.
I want you to know that because I don't want you to doubt yourself.
It's easy for readers to look at mom bloggers and formulate conclusions based on our blogs. We can look so put together.
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It's also easy for people in real life to formulate conclusions based on the occasional get-together at a mommy or homeschool group. I know for a fact there are local moms who think I have this crazy-immaculate house because I owned a green cleaning business for 10 years. They're afraid to have me over to their houses based on that perception.
I don't want people to see me as "perfect." I'm not. Not by a long shot. I'm a neurotic perfectionist, yes, but I'm no Supermom.
I'm a single mom...
Yes. I have to do it all. I cook. I clean. I work.I plan our meals and do the shopping. I manage mood disorders. I homeschool. I go to the homeschool activities outside the home (kids' sleep patterns withstanding). I socialize with other moms while my kids socialize with their friends. I do all of this.
Except when I don't.
...But I'm not Supermom
Sometimes I can't find the kids' bedroom floor for all the clothes. Lorelai loves to dress up and sometimes both of the girls dig through clothes putting together cosplays or other dress up type stuff.
<Speaking of which - look what these girls did just last night.
Sometimes my computer screen is an empty editor when I need to write. It may stay that way for days because my brain refuses to give up the words.
Being neurotic is one thing. Being able to do everything is another.
One person simply can't do it all, and do it perfectly day in and day out.
I don't want to be in a relationship, but I do know how the family was designed to work. Children were meant to have two parents. The family unit works best that way. There's a balance created by a two-parent family.
There's not always a lot of balance here.
We may homeschool all week and I do little to no work. I may work for 3 days and homeschool gets done on the weekends. Maybe my kids aren't even awake in the day and we do lessons at night.
Somehow I manage to get it all done. It may not be on the schedule I planned. It may not even be on the day I planned. But somehow I manage to keep up or catch up, whatever the situation calls for.
That's not a Supermom. There is no Supermom any more than there is a Captain America or Thor.
Now. Doctor Who. That's another story. He's real. ;-)
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Happy Homeschooling!
I hate the whole "Super Mom" mentality. No one has it all together, and sometimes I think that phrase is meant as an insult you know? In reality, we should all consider ourselves super moms with super hero capes doing what we believe is best for our kids!
ReplyDeleteSupermom - one of the many unpleasant things from the 80s. ;-)
DeleteI don't like the Supermom thing either. It makes me feel sort of embarrassed when people say it.
DeleteAin't no sucha thang. We're all just moms doing the best we can with all our imperfections.
DeleteThis is fantastic! I am going to share your post on my Facebook page!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
DeleteThe true side of motherhood that's not shown often .Love it! By the way cosplay is freaking great, join them sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWe're con-hoppers. I'm hoping to be a weeping angel at the next one, with my youngest as the 10th doctor, my granddaughters as the tardis and an adipose. XD
DeleteOh my gosh! I feel the same way. My father always told me 'can't means won't' and as a working mom (and you a single mom) we decide we want to do something for our family and our kids and we just do it. Talking ourselves out of it isn't an option. Unfortunately, the thought of homeschooling and working to many people is just impossible - but it's not. People will do what they want to do and lets face it, many of us who work and homeschool would jump at the opportunity to have another 'provider' of financial support. However, in my reality as a minority and product of a single mom household, staying home and depending on one income just didn't seem feasible. So I work (in a field I love) and homeschool my kiddos with the help of my dh. We love it, and we like having money to do the things we need and want to do. So yeah, "Hang in there!" I'm with ya sister!
ReplyDeleteThe grandma who raised me never allowed the word "can't" in my vocabulary.
DeleteI love the graphic you chose for this post! Thanks for keeping it real on your blog. A lot of blogs only show the "picture-perfect" side of their lives.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am a single mom to a special needs child, working as a corporate slave. my son stays with my mom 6 hours away from where i live because it is hard to get a nanny that i can trust. i only get to see him during weekends or when he's got doctor's appointment within my area. i plan to homeschool him too though i am still working out how that plan will work... thank you for sharing your story... it takes the pressure off for someone like me because sometimes, people's expectations get to me...
ReplyDeleteYes! Doctor Who is real!!!! LOL. Great article. Very encouraging.
ReplyDelete<3 Thanks, Tina!
DeleteI know I’m reading this 3.5 years after it was posted, but wow. You’re the first person to make me feel normal, like I’m not crazy. I’m in a similar situation and that is how my life looks. It’s not perfect. It doesn’t look like anyone else’s that I know, but somehow the most important things get accomplished (at least I hope so).
ReplyDeleteYou said something that was so freeing to me. “One person simply can’t do it all, and do it perfectly day in and day out.” I’ve been guilty of playing the comparison game, looking at my friends, some with their perfect schedules, some with their clean houses, some with their exquisite meals, the list goes on. All along I’m sitting here with my hot mess. Laundry never finished, bedtimes never heeded, toys everywhere, meals not always the most well-rounded. You’re telling me I don’t have to be perfect, and even though I KNOW that, I needed to hear it just the way you said it. Sorry for my personal ramble. I just want to say thank you for this post and I will probably be reading more of your blog.