4 Habits of Highly Effective Single Moms

Jun 13, 2018

Life isn’t easy, but you can develop healthy habits to be an effective, successful single mom.

Parenting can be hard.

You have those days when you feel defeated. You feel as though you've made every mistake you could possibly make, and you wonder if you're doing it all wrong.
As if parenting and life aren't enough, add being a single mom to the mix.

Single mom life is difficult. You are the sole parent, trying to be two parents, while also trying to maintain a a household, pay the bills, and keep it all balanced. The juggling is real.

(For the purposes of this post, I'm using the phrase single moms, but it can apply to any single parent.)

I’m sharing 4 habits of highly effective single moms to give you hope, inspiration, and a whole new outlook on your day.

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Create a Positive Vision

While it’s easy to develop self-pity habits when you first become a single mom, due to the overwhelming responsibilities to handle alone, you need to create a positive vision.

Determine what your values, goals, and aspirations are as a single mom. What memories and values do you want your children to have when they’re grown and ready to start their own family?

Look at your life as a creative process. What are you trying to create? Then create it. Life is more than muddling through the day-to-day when you feel you're fulfilling a purpose.

Be Proactive

Develop the pattern of behavior where you’re proactive about everything. The easiest way to be more proactive in single motherhood is to view the future before it happens.

This goes hand-in-hand with your vision. You need to learn to predict all possible outcomes so that you have a plan A and a plan B to attack any scenario that heads your way.

Be Interactive

Stop stressing out about bills that are piling up, and everything that you haven’t accomplished today.

Designate a specific time every day when you let go of work, stress, and all of your adult responsibilities to spend time with your children. I know that sounds difficult, but trust me, it's entirely possible.

I feel no greater relief from the stresses of my life than when I take my kids out to do something completely unrelated to our daily life. Maybe it's a walk downtown, or a trip to the aquarium. Maybe it's a hike through a state park.

Just as we should switch up the activities our kids are doing, to keep their minds fresh, we need to do the same for ourselves.

Childhood slips by far too quickly to not interact and enjoy the little moments with your children while you can. 

Make Peace with Your Ex

(If you don’t have to co-parent with your ex for whatever reason, then this won’t apply to you. Also, ignore this if you're dealing with an abusive ex because that's a different situation altogether.)
This is probably the most difficult part of being a highly effective single mom. In order to be at peace, as a single mom, you must make peace with your ex. If you have an ex who is involved with the children, make peace with them, and treat your co-parenting relationship with respect.

Make Me Time a Priority

All highly effective single moms have learned that quality alone time is important to their success.

Raising children in a household with just one parent is challenging. In order to cope with all of the stress and responsibilities on your shoulders, you must learn to make me time a priority.

Self-care has many different meanings. Yes, it can mean a hot bubble bath and chocolates, but it can also mean enjoying a favorite pastime. For me, that would be reading or gardening. Maybe it means shopping for things you need, or don't need. Maybe it's that one hour at the local coffee shop where you treat yourself to lunch. 

Whatever recharges you, do that.

Each of these habits of highly effective single moms has allowed many single moms of the world to enjoy parenthood when raising children by themselves. Being a single mom will never be easy. Practicing each of these habits and mastering them will allow single motherhood to be a little less overwhelming and in turn, allow your children to live happy lives.

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Life isn't easy for a single mom, but you can develop healthy habits to be an effective, successful single mom.

What would you add to the list?

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