Simple Ways to Build Confidence in Kids

May 18, 2018

Raising kids to be confident adults who don't possess a sense of entitlement is a balancing act, but it's a balance you can strike.

Raising kids to be confident adults who don't possess a sense of entitlement is a balancing act. Here are a few tips to help with that.

Building and maintaining confidence in our children isn't always easy. On the one hand, you want them to be confident. On the other hand, you don't want them to grow up with a sense of entitlement.

You may find yourself frustrated with trying to find the perfect balance, but I've got good news: It can be done!

Here are a few simple ways to build confidence in kids without also building a sense of entitlement. (We'll call that The Balance.)

Simple Ways to Build Confidence in Kids

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Allow Children to Take Safe Risks

As a parent, it’s hard to step back sometimes.

Of course, you want to make sure your children don’t end up with broken bones, but you also need to let them make mistakes. Allowing them to take risks while they're young is important because they still have you for guidance. 

Mistakes are opportunities for your child to learn, and you are the perfect person to help them through those learning experiences.

The Balance: Allowing your children to take safe risks, you will help build their confidence as they learn more about their personal limits and strengths.

Provide Constructive Feedback

I preface this section with the statement that I have not, in 30 years, used the phrase "constructive criticism." I have long considered it to be an oxymoron, reasoning, "How do you build something up (construct) by tearing it down (criticize)?

I do, however, get the meaning - it's constructive feedback, so I'll call it that.

In a world where everyone gets a trophy, whether or not they've earned it, it’s important to maintain a level of constructive feedback with your children. Let them know what they did and did not do correctly in a given situation. This allows them to make changes; to grow; to learn.

As the parent, you’re the safest person to provide this feedback to your child in a private home environment that fuels the inner desire to do better.

The Balance: Learning how to embrace, accept, and learn from constructive feedback (or even criticism) will help your kids build confidence while also preparing them for the real world.

Let Your Child Help

One of the easiest ways to build confidence in kids is to let them help around the home. Letting your child, even during the toddler stage, help with cooking and cleaning around the home will build their confidence as they succeed in new household tasks. 

Kids enjoy feeling important and thrive to be a part of a team. Household chores are a great way to help them feel independent. Not only will this build their confidence, but it helps them to perfect life skills necessary for adult life. 

The Balance: The feeling of accomplishment and the satisfaction of a job well done will build their confidence. 

Don't Bail Them Out

Lastly, many of us are guilty of feeling badly for our kids when they are kicked off a sports team, or didn’t make the cut for the next theatrical performance at school. This s a totally normal, healthy response, but don't let that feeling cloud your judgement. In this case, your head must overrule your heart.

Let your child know you sympathize, even empathize with him, but don't let that feeling take over. In other words: Don't protect him from the experience.

Remember that you’re the first example that sets the tone for how your kids respond to disappointment. When things don’t go as hoped, teach them how to rise above and move on by setting the positive example that they can try again next time.

The Balance: Expressing your feelings let's your child know he is loved and understood. This builds confidence that he is, in fact, a worthy, lovable person. Allowing him to endure through disappointments prevents him from feeling he is entitled to all he desires and teaches him to respect other people's decisions, even if he disagrees.

Raising kids to be confident adults who don't possess a sense of entitlement is a balancing act. Here are a few tips to help with that.

These are a few simple ways to build confidence in kids. There is no one-size-fits-all on how to raise children, but these simple tips will give you a jump start towards providing that nurturing environment that encourages your kids to be confident, balanced people.

What other tips do you have for building confidence in kids? Share in the comments.

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1 comment

  1. Don't Bail them out! Yes! So many parents don't get this one, but we all need to learn to fail. Hope you'll share this on the #LovetoLearn hop ~Natural Parent Guide


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